Today is an exciting day for me. I’m finally publishing my first book, “At The End of The Day” a devotional memoir. The self publishing journey has been filled with trepidation, distractions, fear, excitement, sadness, anger, and every emotional word that you can think of. I finished the book in 2014, but couldn’t “get out of my own way” to publish it. Many close to me thought it was fear keeping me from doing what I needed to do, and although I battled fear writing the book and going through the editing process, fear isn’t what kept me from publishing it. It was my selfishness. It was me wanting to just be me in my own little world and my need to keep my personal life private.
From a very young age I was very confident in myself despite being made fun of about my height, weight, glasses, awkwardness, tomboyish demeanor and being a preacher’s kid. Everyone talks about being themselves and I’ve always been myself despite how challenging it is in this society when you’re only accepted when you’re a certain type of self. As a former professional athlete, I had two personalities, the ball player and then me. The personal me. The private me. I quickly realized after letting people read the book that self publishing it would personally make me more vulnerable than I’ve ever been publicly.
My journey over the last three years has made me extremely comfortable with being a spiritual misfit, uniquely awkward, goofy, happy, naively optimistic,introverted, imperfect,weird,beautiful, conservative self. I had to study and learn more about my belief in my spiritual ideal “Jesus” and my attitudes towards my success and my failures, my love for the law of attraction and spirituality in general. Although this learning process is ongoing, I feel I can more genuinely respond to the feedback from the book and truly enjoy the journey.
This book is my personal memoir about my basketball career and how my faith, choices and life skills helped me to overcome failures, move past tragedy and disappointment and sustain success. It was written with simplicity in mind for the younger audience, who may be struggling with their spirituality, life, self esteem, choices and decisions. My hope is that the person reading it gains a sense of hope, faith, belief in themselves, love for themselves and others and most of all and understanding that God loves you no matter what.
Check out this Black History Month story from my hometown paper and learn more about this small town girl that believed in herself when no one else did. CHAS STORY BHM